My Weight Gain Story

People notice it in my face, I see it my arms in pictures, and my jeans prove it all. I've gained seven pounds. For years, I was underweight at 98 pounds, but now I am a solid 105. The tricky thing about weight gain is that you never know how your body will store fat. Usually it is in the places you don't want. I wanted to share my weight gain story.

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I know people from my past linger on my Instagram photos. I've posted bikini pictures, vaguely brought up my increased weight, and my face no longer has a cut jawline. 

For health reasons, I cannot gain weight. I can eat four steaks in a meal and never gain a pound. Sometimes my medications suppress my hunger or normal life stresses keep me from indulging in a high calorie intake. 

The last two years of my college were hard. I had a needy roommate constantly stressing me out. I grew tired of the campus food, but ran out of money to splurge at restaurants. I began to downward spiral.

I slept a lot. My low calorie intake made me dizzy at the gym. I still had boobs (somewhat) and my period; so, I never felt too alarmed.

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I gained 7lbs since college. I haven’t been this happy and confident in awhile. Almost at my goal weight! □□□ #beachbody #bikinigirl

A post shared by Lesley Rowland â–¡ (@lesleyyx1) on Aug 12, 2018 at 4:10pm PDT

If you stay a weight for so long, your body deems that your normal. â€‹So, my body decided that 98 lbs was my new normal. Even when I graduate college and recovered mentally and emotionally, I could not crawl myself out of this unhealthy routine. My body knew that I functioned at 98, so my goodness it was going to stay there.

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A post shared by Lesley Rowland â–¡ (@lesleyyx1) on Sep 15, 2017 at 4:03pm PDT

The dietician kept telling me to gain weight like I was trying, which I found very discouraging. I would give into every indulgence, like steak, and drink at least one protein drink a day. The doctor pulled up my chart and created a graph to show my downward trend. If I were to fall ill, my body would not have the energy to fight off infection.

Luckily, I still liked the way that I looked, except in jeans that showed off my flat butt, but I'm unsure if I knew how I looked. When I took this picture in Austin's Hippie Hollow Park, I found myself attractive. I'm 5'2" and petite figured already. But looking at this picture now, I cringe.

My doctor decided to prescribe me with hormonal birth control. It worked. I still had to push eating lots of calories, but after a few weeks, the pounds stuck. I could go to bed a certain weight and wake up with a similar number on the scale. Before, I could lose four pounds within the day. I got to the point where I could relax and not force feed, one of the best moments of my life in a long time.

BOOBS! Yep, I love having cleavage and filling out my bras and wearing lower cut tops. 

My energy spiked, and I could finally push myself in workouts. I quit when my muscles ache, not because the room spins. 

I hope that I never return to a weight under 100lbs. I love calling myself thicc and feeling like a petite Kylie Jenner. There used to be a little voice in the back of mind that would tell me I looked best being that skinny, that the added fat would be an uglier transformation. I am so glad that I did not listen to that pip squeak.