Dear “nice guys who finish last,”
I know it gets a little frustrating when you hold open doors for us and we run through to meet up with a guy who mixes up “your” and you’re,” or drives a motorcycle, or is always decked out in his fraternity’s letters. No matter how tough to sweet we look, it always seems like we gravitate towards the douche bags. And then you become bitter toward the female population.
Well, I have an honest question. Have you ever thought...
...of becoming more interesting?
I like to think that I am a genuinely nice girl who has developed the positive habit of thinking about and helping others. I also spend a fair amount of time keeping up my appearance. I workout. I strive for good grades and pursue all extra credit opportunities. I make a point to ask a guy elaborately to formals and functions because I want to make him feel special. I don’t sit awkwardly around a dance floor but dance instead. I play sports. I tell jokes. I flirt. I don’t mind chasing the guy. I can hold a conversation. I have a mix of superficial and serious hobbies. Now, just because I do something, does not mean I am the best at it nor am I saying that I’m the most beautiful or most charismatic person in the room. But I am more than just nice. And every single girl I hang out with is more than just nice. There are plenty of girls just like me out there.
Do not get me wrong: niceness is a very excellent quality to have that hopefully branches out to being respectful and empathetic, but that cannot be the only quality to stand behind and justify why you are a better match for us ladies.
We want someone who doesn’t always tell us what we want to hear. Or takes the initiative to grab a girl and kiss her hard showing that he means it so much. Or a guy who gets frustrated with life because it’s not perfect. It’s not the disrespectful asshole that we’re after, but someone raw, someone human. And having that person like us in return for being so raw and so human. We do not want somebody to like us solely because we are nice, so we don’t search for that in a guy either.
So, about that “bad boy” you saw us run up to. He might look a little rough around the edges and that just might be the case, but he is a character described by many adjectives other than “nice,” and he can rock our worlds.
A girl who is tired of feeling guilty for passing up “nice guys”
ALL THE FEELS