I Don't Want to be on YouTube!

Everybody is a clout chaser, right? It can be hard to remember that not everyone likes to be filmed or wants attention. Recently, I ran into this issue with somebody fighting to take down my video. (What's new? Ha!) Let's talk about your rights and etiquette so nobody has to say "Don't put me on YouTube!"

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About a week ago, I posted a video on planning a Halloween party, which included hauls, costume making, decorated house tour, and scenes from my party. I wanted this video to be the complete package for my audience.

Important: The footage does NOT promote illegal or self-obstructive activity. My primary audience is 21+. My friends and I are 21+. Although there is no focus on drinking, I do add a warning for any younger audience members. 

My friend decided to bring her friend to my house party. This friend of my friend, let's call her Katie, was pleasant. I fixed her a drink and showed off the snacks. Us girls formed a social circle with fun chit-chat. 

I remembered that I forgot to film a house tour that showed off my decorations. I announced what I would be doing. ​I figured anyone who had a problem with my YouTube recording would notably dodge my camera or speak up. Nobody did.

Most of the people participated in games, but she stuck to her solo cup. My friends noticed she was snapping them while playing, but that didn't seem unusual.  By the second half of my party, we decided on a girls picture that she oddly did not want to be a part of with no real explanation. I found it odd but respected her request. 

I upload the video. My friend texted me about Katie watching my video and being upset that she was in some of the footage. I was genuinely surprised since I was not made aware of her request sooner. I watched it again. My friends watched it again. Nobody could tell where she was in the video and especially who she was. She was completely unrecognizable. 

I was saddened by this, so I had my friend relay to Katie an apology and promise to never let it happen again. But that was not good enough. She demanded that I take down my video, which would cause me to lose all accumulated views and hurt my stats, to simply edit her out.

I declined the request. As the owner of the footage that was taken in my own house when I prepared my party guests with knowledge of my project, I could not find reason to grant her request. Instead of reaching out to me directly in an Instagram DM, she attempted to humiliate and call me out through a public comment on my video.    

I'm sorry, but I need to be petty right now. If this girl didn't know me, then maybe she should never have entered my home, ate and drank my food, and snapped my friends? I mean, she doesn't even know my friends...why would she assume it would be ok to put them in her snap? 

I wanted to respond with a million things, but I did not. This was not the first time somebody wanted a video of mine taken down. It also won't be the last. But this situation definitely made me uncomfortable, which is why I want to talk about this. I've mentioned how YouTube can affect friendships, but I want you to also be prepared for this!

i don't want to be on youtube!

Hide the comment, and block the user. - This kind of drama should not be handled publicly. Anyone who questions your ethics or outputs false information on you shouldn't exist on your platform. Plus, you don't need the person trying to tear down your other videos.

Ultimately, you are protecting the commenter more than you are protecting yourself for many reasons. 1) She is identifying herself. She is literally telling everyone that she is a part of this video when she was never tagged to begin with. 2) She sets herself up to be cyber bullied. My viewers are loyal to me. They wouldn't tolerate this kind of attack towards me. And, 3) People love drama. In today's world, people advance on the internet from bad PR. So, this could have actually gained me more subscribers.

Do not engage. - Even the biggest scandals die down when left untouched, just look at Taylor Swift who now rebrands herself as a snake but after months of staying silent.

Also, refrain from talking with your fan base about the incident. This includes liking their tweets. Now, if the majority of fans begin to have a misconception of you, address the issue once with a simple, well-tempered answer.

​(Yes, I will admit that writing this blog is a form of engagement, but I highly doubt she has turned into a stalker of my work. Plus, you cannot recognize her at all.)

Consider the issue. - Ask yourself if the person has a real reason to be angry? Check your conscience and legal rights. It is easy to feel defensive at first when somebody becomes angry with you and lists demands.

One time, I told a story and used a screenshot as a "receipt" to back up what I was sharing with my audience. I neglected to blur out the person's phone number. Sure, I thought this person was mean, but that does not mean I should stoop to their level. Privacy is a big deal. I fixed it immediately. We all make mistakes. What matters is how you react.

Moving FOrward

When you are out with friends, make sure to communicate your desire to film, what you want out of the footage, and verbal consent from everyone. If one person wishes to not join the YouTube fun, respect the decision. You can still vlog and update your audience. That way, you can say you took the courtesy to check and feel good at the end of the day. I'll be practicing this a lot more in the future. 

Have you had a similar incident?
​Share it in the comments! 

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